Home > Autism > Thought-petals: What Autism Means To Me

Thought-petals: What Autism Means To Me

Autism means…

…Running down the hill, full tilt, holding hands, feet flying, gasping for breath, laughing for the sheer joy of it.

Autism means entire conversations held without words.

Autism means…

The constant and constantly changing puzzle-game of trying to understand one another, and the incredible moments of joy and excitement — the Aha! — when one person’s means of expression is grasped by the other person’s brain. It’s a brain-teaser with a truly valuable solution, a code we’re racing to break together.

(I love this about tutoring, too.)

Autism means shouting “yogurt!” from the rooftops. Because you have the right to express yourself even if no one else understands.

Autism means colors colors Colors COLORS!

And happy flapping hands.

Autism means needing a break from stimuli other people don’t even realize are there.

It means the blissfully peaceful look on your face when you come up from a dive, completely renewed by the immersion and the pressure and the magical world of water that holds you safe from sound and smell and the rest of the world.

Autism means that sometimes you need to bite down on your own hand just to get through a certain moment. And that’s ok, too.

Autism means talking in sound effects.

And deciding that we’re not going to use silverware at dinner tonight.

And lying down on the floor a lot.

And sitting the wrong way in chairs.

And hiding under the covers.

And tight bear hugs.

Autism means that something you see or hear or feel or smell or taste or think can be so fascinating that you just plain forget about everything else in the world.

Sometimes it’s like an involuntary mindfulness exercise.

Sometimes it’s frustrating and overwhelming.

Sometimes it’s tranquil.

It’s often beautiful.

Autism means paying very close attention, it really does. Just… maybe not paying attention to what you expected.

Autism means…

…emotions like fireworks — sudden, blindingly intense, incredibly memorable, the center of the world one moment and gone the next, leaving your ears ringing and your eyes blinking away spots…

…and sometimes it means not being able to show what you mean…

…and sometimes being able to express things more sincerely and profoundly than most people can…

…it can mean being a poet, a painter, a scientist, a person who thinks in numbers or pictures or videos or music, a person who reads at lightning speed, who remembers everything, who tastes music or hears colors, who notices the smallest details…

…Autism means being the square peg. Sometimes very obviously so. Sometimes with edges just slightly, almost imperceptibly, too wide for the slot into which everyone expects you to fit.

Autism is where you lose yourself and find yourself at the same time.

Autism means that look on your face when you watch the water sparkle…

Autism means the sounds you make when…

Autism means…

Autism means…

…fragile fascinating fascinated flying falling free focused fireworks…

Autism means you, and you are beautiful.

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Categories: Autism Tags: , , ,
  1. is this anything
    May 22, 2016 at 11:54 pm

    Reblogged this on is this anything and commented:
    I love this.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. May 23, 2016 at 5:38 am

    Reading this means … incredible joy!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. June 11, 2016 at 2:54 pm

    Definitely the sitting the wrong way in chairs part. I do that all the time.

    Like

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