ABA, Modeling, and Abuse

There's pushing kids to try a little harder, to go a little further, than would on their own. Then there's pushing them past their tolerance limit, pushing them into pain or panic. One is a healthy part of raising or teaching a child. The other is child abuse... I know that much of the damage done by therapists is done without malice. Most of it is done with good intentions, even. I don't bring these things up to make anyone feel bad about what they are doing or have done. I do it to help you learn, as I learned, for the sake of the kids we're all trying to help.

Practice, Perspective, and Progress: a vignette

Sometimes I feel like the majority of my doing my job correctly consists of simply figuring out when I'm in the wrong. It's so easy for us humans (neurotypical or not) to project, to assume, and to get stuck in our own perspectives. And then we get annoyed when someone else responds badly because we…

Yet Another Volley in the Battle over ABA, part 1

The report is well worth listening to, because there are some very good quotes, a wide range of opinions from an interesting variety of sources, and a more nuanced conversation than we usually hear about how ABA should change if it's going to continue to exist. I also found it frustrating to listen to, because it begins and ends with pro-ABA statements from a particularly problematic source.... How is there such a vast chasm between what autistic people keep writing and what so many non-autistic people believe about autism? It's almost as though we are using the same words but speaking different languages. I think this is because the two sides start the conversation from such different perspectives that they can't even understand each other's arguments.

More Challenged Than Challenging, part 1

We can't make aggression disappear completely, but we can make it less likely, less frequent, and less intense. Over the years, we've done a lot to make my client's life more orderly and predictable. As a result, he's generally a happier and calmer person, and slower to anger than he used to be. He is still someone with limitations that frustrate him unbearably at times, and he doesn't have as much emotional maturity as most people his age. But he is also much less prone to violence than he used to be. I think that's definitely worth the effort!

Yes, THOSE Kids

Life isn't always easy. Love isn't always easy. Autism isn't always easy. Embrace them all anyways.

Stop Pathologizing Autistic Play

A topic came up in an autism support group I frequent. A mother said that her son's Early Intervention therapist was trying to get him to stop "repetitive play," and play more the way typical children do. The mom didn't see any harm in repetitive play, but the therapist claimed her son was doing the…

Sneaky Kiddo!

I got some new mints and let 11-year-old Nightingale try one on our way to the beach. He pestered me for another... and another... and another.... the whole way there. Finally, at the beach, I told him, "no more until after lunch." I put them in my purse and set my purse down on a…

Support

We should not ask things of our children that we aren't willing to do ourselves, whether that is tolerating discomfort, working hard, or accepting corrections gracefully.

Just Amazing

Sometimes my job is difficult, frustrating, or annoying. Sometimes it makes me feel like the luckiest person in the world. This day was the second kind. And not just because I got to wear a bathing suit to work! *** Less than a year ago, I would arrive at his house, pile into the car…

People Are Complicated

Why does it never occur to us that a child might be crying because of the song playing on the radio, laughing at something they just imagined or remembered, or angry just because it's been a long day rather than because of any specific event?